I'm sorry dear friends but I've been a bit preoccupied lately.
It seems that f**##ing cancer has been rearing its ugly head.
In the last two weeks, I've learned that my brother-in-law has been "revisited" by cancer. Two years ago, he was diagnosed with a rare form of stomach cancer. "They" did the surgery and chemo. He was healthy for a year. "They" just found a new tumor near his esophagus. He went to Houston for surgery. Dr. Joe is 58. He is an Electrophysiologist. (He installs Pacemakers). He is now "recovering" in Virginia.
This past week was surreal. I was poking around on Facebook, playing Mafia Wars, icing people, stocking up on tommy guns, investing in my Strip Club, you know...basically minding my own business.
I received a Chat prompt from my husband's best friend. He said "Hi! I'm in the hospital with some strange undiagnosed illness." Turns out it was Acute Lymphotic Leukemia. His brother died of it when he was like "eleven". Michael is fifty. Michael is one of the most amazing, intelligent and inspired persons I have ever met. He and Doug (my husband) went to graduate school together. Michael went on to get his doctorate in education. He was a high school principal for a while. He had difficulty with the political B.S. in that environment. The district created a position for him. He became a liaison between the district and the community. He continues to inspire people.
Michael is a trooper. He started a "Care Pages" blog to write about his illness.
Some of you probably know that my mother died of lung cancer three years ago. My mother-in-law died almost exactly one year before that.
Some cynics might say that cancer is a disease caused by bad lifestyle choices (i.e.smoking). Okay Mom and Mrs. Williams smoked.
Dr. Joe doesn't smoke, rarely drinks. He is thin. In fact, he is one of the most health conscious, persons I have ever met.
Michael doesn't smoke, rarely drinks. He is the most optimistic, positive person I have ever met. Seriously. No exaggeration intended. I don't get it. None of these persons "deserved" this disease.
It is random. It sucks.
Sorry if I have not been in a funny blogging mood lately.
I don't get it.
Welcome to the art space of Anita Williams. I will use this space to write about my art processes, my inspirations and other things I am learning in my journey. I am generally a positive person but I am drawn to the negative space in nature. Things that are unseen or overlooked.
15 comments:
Totally agree. Sometimes the world's a weird and very sad place. You just can't figure it out as the worst things seem to happen to some lovely people. You just have to hang on and hope.
Take care.
Yes, cancer sucks. So does people's attitudes towards it. The idea that patients did something to deserve it or have somehow brought it upon themselves is horrific. Yes, we can control our actions, but not those of others, our genes or the environment in which we find ourselves. (Ok, I might be a little self-serving here). I know people look at me and think "She's fat. No wonder she got cancer." Nobody deserves cancer. Nobody deserves the horrors of its various treatments. [end of rant]
I'm sorry about your friends. There are resources to help them cope. There are resources to help YOU cope as well. Email me through the link on my profile if you want more info.
Hang in there.
Thanks Winifred.
I just needed to vent last night. I also found out a former co-worker of mine died from some kind of cancer last week. That prompted my rant. I didn't mention him. I know I started writing after 10:00 p.m. I am just checking to make sure I made sense!
Lulubelle,
I didn't know you had cancer. You are such a trooper. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for your thoughts and resources!
We cannot possibly control everything. Even though the Health Insurance industry is trying to sell this point. There are so many unknowns. My mother and mother-in-law were smokers but they quit. Who knows? The cause of their cancer might have been something else. Perhaps the nail polish they used in the sixties? I am always struggling with my weight. Humans have faults, vices, weaknesses. That's part of what makes us interesing. Cancer does not seem to discriminate.
I'm a melanoma survivor, stage 3b. It killed my father and my grandmother. They were sun worshippers. And I'm usally fish-belly white. Go figure...
Cancer is not picky. It chooses those who party hearty and those who lead lives as clean as a nun. I have known people who never smoked one cigarette, but got lung cancer. I have known lifelong smokers who lived to a healthy 96 years old.
That is what is so scary about it, yes? It could happen (and does happen) to anyone at anytime.
I once had someone (MY SISTER)tell me that I got cancer because I stopped going to church. She has had cancer, too and she swears that her church's prayers for her saved her, healed her. So, I was mean. I asked her, "So, why did you get it in the first place? Do you have some nasty habits that we don't know about?"
Cancer is not picky. It chooses those who party hearty and those who lead lives as clean as a nun. I have known people who never smoked one cigarette, but got lung cancer. I have known lifelong smokers who lived to a healthy 96 years old.
That is what is so scary about it, yes? It could happen (and does happen) to anyone at anytime.
I once had someone (MY SISTER)tell me that I got cancer because I stopped going to church. She has had cancer, too and she swears that her church's prayers for her saved her, healed her. So, I was mean. I asked her, "So, why did you get it in the first place? Do you have some nasty habits that we don't know about?"
It's very sad the way cancer can just strike anyone at any time. I can understand your emotional outlook right now. It does suck!
All you can do is be there for them, offer your support and love.
You are excellent at that, Neetzy, I'm sure.
I'm thinking of you, your family and friends,
Kat
Lulubelle,
Wow. What a shocker! My thoughts and prayers to you. I expect to get skin cancer as I grew up near the beach. I was a stupid-head that rubbed baby oil on myself and laid in the sun for hours. I had my share of sun-poisoning. Husband and I used to sail and we got plenty of nasty burns. He got a basal cell cancer removed last year. I report all moles to my doctor, but so far I've been okay.
I keep thinking one day my luck will run out.
Thanks Maria,
Interesting commentary from your sister. My brother-in-law, "Dr." Joe was similar. He was pretty judgmental about other people's habits. He commented on weight, drinking, smoking. Even when my mother in law died of lung cancer at 78, he remarked that it was all because of smoking.
I don't even like to think thoughts like "aha" to the judgmental types but the biblical verse "judge not lest you be judged" frequently comes to mind. I'm afraid to even "think" it. I guess it is human nature to be somewhat judgmental. I try not to release negative energy but I realize that I do as I am critical by nature. I respect Karma.
Kat,
Thanks for your kind thoughts. Life is truly not fair. Karma is a weird thing. I am not the most thoughtful person. In fact, I am damn ignorant sometimes. I tend to disrespect things like tradition and tend to offend people because of it. Then I feel bad and try to do something nice.
I thank all of you blogger friends for your support. You are wonderful, thoughtful people. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
I'm sorry to hear about your recent spate of bad news and wish you all courage in trying to come to terms with the randomness of it all.
Thanks Tom,
It is all sort of surreal right now.
Anita, I am sorry that Cancer is attacking your people. I can relate. My Mom (former smoker) also died of lung cancer (despite being an ex smoker for many years). Also--I know what it is like to be blindsided as you have--learning that a very healthy person has been struck down (my brother! RIP!). It doesn't make a lick of sense. Once, when I was listening to NPR radio a female guest quietly said--"By the time you are my age (50's, I gathered)..you have experienced quite a lot of loss. You have lost parents, friends, certainly some very favorite pets..maybe the unthinkable...maybe a young relative. At this age you deeply understand the impermanence of all....and yet....somehow it is always a blow. Despite what you think should be a certain amount of "preparedness". (I'll never forget her little speech...it is so true!) We, as people, just want long healthy lives--and that simply doesn't seem to be asking all that much. And.., ....it is doubtful that we will ever be happy about loss. Never never never.
Can't wait to see your paintings! I hope you'll take up the brush soon. I sketch on days when I can't paint..maybe I can convince you to do that! I'll be watching. Hugs to you and your family. I hate Cancer too.
Celeste!
Thanks for visiting and thanks for your thoughts! I have older paintings posted - go to the paintings label on my blog. Hopefully I'll get this new one up soon. I'm kinda liking it, but I'm at that point of between ruination and masterpiece (ha,ha) I'll not get to masterpiece for a while. Check the older ones out. The latest are from this past summer and fall. Thanks again.
I'll start again, too many typos - it's hard to figure out the "why" of things sometimes. And it hits even harder with people close to us. Take care and I'm sure you'll be a support - that is healing in itself for the people who are sick.
Thanks Jeannette,
I will stop asking why and proceed to ventilation. I just can't stop thinking about it.
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