Monday, July 22, 2013

Where's the Hookah?

I think this guy should have a hookah up there on my tomato plant.  He certainly has the munchies. This is the dude who has been eating my zucchini flowers, my sunflowers and my tomato flowers.  I also removed found three of his buddies. The first I captured for observation.  He did not survive.   Two were covered with eggs.  I mistakenly thought they were Tomato Hornworm eggs and destroyed them.  Later I found out they were the eggs of a beneficial parasitic wasp that would have protected my garden.    Of course caterpillars would not be the ones laying eggs.  What was I thinking?


As I stand upon the precipice of this new phase in my life, I have been full of strange thoughts.  I'm dividing up the past into increments.

It occurred to me that come September, I will have known my husband for thirty years.  We started working together and then began dating.  We were both twenty-four.  

It was a time when I left one lifestyle to begin another.  It was a time when I consciously abandoned an oppressive religious belief system.   I had to forcibly remove my self from a repressive lifestyle to do this.  

It took months of planning and soul searching  and reading  and praying.  I knew I wanted this but after years of indoctrination I was finally able to break away.

It was probably the single most important decision in my life.

It just happened that I was being wooed by my husband to be at the same time.  It was not considered acceptable  for me to "date" someone outside of this particular church.

I consciously defied them.  I was empowered with a belief in my self that was beyond anything I could have imagined.    I found the power to become independent, go to college and become a partner in this relationship.  We moved to a different town , got married and got to know each other for seven years before having children.

Now my youngest child will be moving away to attend college.  The last 21 years have been a blur of band concerts, science fairs, parent/teacher conferences, school board meetings, road trips and you name its.  I've tried to maintain my artistic life despite everything.

I can't divide my life into halves, but thirds are seeming to make sense.  My first 23 years were turbulent and troubled.

I think I actually began my adult life at 24.

I will be 54 in September.  I have no idea how much longer I will be around but I  am anticipating this new phase, whether it's a third, or a quarter, or an eighth.  Life doesn't occur in smooth even increments.  I just know I'm looking forward to this adventure.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I think I want to blog again.  I have so much going on at the moment. My youngest daughter graduated and we will soon be empty-nesters.  I will be starting a new job in the fall teaching younger students.  I keep finding myself at this weird intersection in life.  Beginnings.  Endings.  The beginning of a my daughter's college experience.  The ending of my "job" as a parent.  (The full-time kids at home part). The ending of my existence as a high school art teacher.  The beginning of my life as an elementary art teacher.

It is the beginning of a new kind of life without kids around.  It is the beginning of a sort of freedom.  Husband and I can run around naked if we want.  We can make love without being self-conscious when the kids are awake.

I will have more time to paint.  We will have time to do things.  Fridays and Saturdays will not be filled with Football games and concerts.  No more band boosters meetings.

I would like to immerse myself in painting.  I'm thinking of going for my MFA.  I have lots of ideas.

I would like to "reopen" this blog perhaps as a place to record what happens next.